tarot deck and illuminated magazine
philosophy of the void
What is The Fertile Void? My Story
As a result of a pretty significant entrepreneurship burnout and health challenges, I took a long sabbatical from my regular work schedule to reflect and contemplate how I wanted to show up more sustainably in the long-term. I had, in many ways, entered a ‘void.’ Away from the roles with which I had grown so accustomed, an existential crisis presented an opportunity. As I sat in the discomfort of this void, I came to a stunning and not-so-subtle realization:
The Void is Fertile. This is the tender place from which all things spring.
The space I was inhabiting was not some vast, dark expanse or endless plummet into a chasm. It was simply a moment of unknown – a theme I’d encountered countless times in my life under different circumstances – but this time, I was brave enough not to cover it up, distract myself from it or run away. I allowed the void to simply be. And as a result, an immense amount of personal growth was allowed to unfold and from that, a project idea began germinating, and I realized that I wasn’t finished dancing with the tarot archetypes and they were not finished with me!
Continue reading to dive into the philosophy behind this concept and why, just like the tarot cards themselves, The Fertile Void is archetypal.
Nature loves courage.
You make the commitment and nature will respond to that commitment by removing impossible obstacles.
Dream the impossible dream and the world will not grind you under, it will lift you up.
This is the trick. This is what all these teachers and philosophers who really counted, who really touched the alchemical gold, this is what they understood.
This is the shamanic dance in the waterfall.
This is how magic is done -
By hurling yourself into the abyss and discovering it's a feather bed.
~ Terence McKenna
This act of magic - of sheer trust and surrender - is precisely what The Fool (who is the first card of the tarot, the protagonist if you will) does to begin their journey! They hurl themself into the abyss, the void, the portal, to discover that not only do they not die upon impact - oh no! - they find that they meet The Magician, master manifestor and creator of all things - the alchemist.
Trust is the magic ingredient.
Trusting in the void.
Trusting that it is fertile.
neuroqueer + fae
~~ The Fertile Void is queer + neurodivergent ~~
I’ve omitted the traditional sixteen court cards from this deck because, as you have noticed, The Fertile Void is mostly free from the human form. I wanted to create a body of work that didn’t require bodies to express itself so that the messages could be more inclusive for folks from all walks of life and identities. This approach was decided for three reasons:
As well as the court cards, many of the major arcana cards are also personified (for example, The High Priestess, The Emperor, The Hermit) - but when we visualize these archetypes as people who look a certain way in a tarot deck, I feel strongly that it causes the archetype to lose universal accessibility. It becomes more difficult to grasp and assimilate the messages when you are attempting to identify with a person (or people) that you may share no life experience with.
Traditional tarot systems are very binary with defined boundaries between masculine and feminine. Again, many of us are not going to see ourselves represented in this. Having a mostly body-free deck removes this binary.
The court cards generally revisit themes that are already quite present in the major and minor arcana. Many traditional tarot systems have the court cards representing people we are likely to encounter, which can greatly pigeon-hole readings.
The explorations we have here of the major and minor arcana create a complete picture of the tarot as it represents the human psyche and profound journey through life.
part one: the philosophy of flowers
Have you ever watched a time-lapse video of a flower blooming? One rather radical thing that you'll notice is that it contracts as it expands. The act of expansion is not all in one triumphant go - it's a process that includes moments of ponderous stillness.
The same is true for our myriad processes. Whenever you are in a contraction phase, it is crucial that you honour and tend to it, exactly as you would a delicate flower in its magnificent unfolding.
The contraction phase is absolutely necessary. When we expand too much too quickly, we are not fully embodied. There is simply no way to process all that's happened in such a short amount of time. Contraction allows us to come back to ourselves and check in. We can ask ourselves, how was that last little phase of expansion and growth? What do I need to process and metabolize from that? Do I need more rest? More nourishment, for the next phase? There is also no need to rush the next phase! We are all on our own timelines. When it is the right time, it will feel right. It will flow easily.
The Fertile Void finds its philosophy in this practice. The void becomes fertile when we allow ourselves to step into the unknown, off the beaten path, away from external pressures. When we allow ourselves to feel lost and confused, directionless and unmoored. In this liminal space, flowers of potential bloom - but never all at once. They begin gently, slowly, tentatively.
Whether we're recovering from burnout, a misaligned relationship or career, going through a significant shift in identity, a challenging time with our health, or any other era in life that feels bewildering, scary, uncertain or dubious - we step into the void to suss out its vibration, its texture, its message.
The society we live in tells us that we must have all the answers all the time, we must always have the next few steps well mapped out, we must have plans A through Z ready and waiting. But the truth is, we're all lost, we're all uncertain, we're all confused by this thing called life. We just so happen to be a little closer to the unknown during more challenging moments. This, dear reader, is a contraction. We are getting closer to the core of existence, and what it means to be human, to possess consciousness without all of the fancy labels we ascribe to ourselves. In the void, we can simply be. And from here, we can choose to expand in ways that feel more aligned with who we truly are - not who we have been told we should be.
So while entering the void can certainly be frightening because it is not what we're used to facing, it is a critical act for our soul to endure. The more we surrender to the unknown of the void, the more fertile we will understand it to be.
part two: the philosophy of transformation
To everything, turn, turn, turn
There is a season, turn, turn, turn
And a time to every purpose under heaven
A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep
To everything, turn, turn, turn
There is a season, turn, turn, turn
And a time to every purpose, under heaven
A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones
A time to gather stones together
To everything, turn, turn, turn
There is a season, turn, turn, turn
And a time to every purpose under heaven
A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace
A time to refrain from embracing
To everything, turn, turn, turn
There is a season, turn, turn, turn
And a time to every purpose under heaven
A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time for love, a time for hate
A time for peace, I swear it's not too late
~ Turn, Turn, Turn! The Byrds
This past summer I had the privilege of raising and releasing a monarch butterfly. It was the first time I'd ever done anything like this. Realizing that the milkweed clipping I'd brought home had a little monarch caterpillar hitchhiker was special, indeed. I gave her all of the milkweed she could ever want, and watched her feast day in, day out until one morning I found that she'd made herself a chrysalis. She must have been working tirelessly overnight as the chrysalis form was complete and ready to house her miraculous transformation.
Over the next few days, her caterpillar body turned to primordial goo. Magical cells called ‘imaginal cells’ - as what they do is imagine a new form, a new life - were the agents of change swirling within the sacred space she had woven herself. I witnessed her chrysalis turn from bright green with astonishing flecks of gold, as if a fairy had come along and blown her shiny dust, to a deeper shade of green mixed with red and black - her new wings had grown. On the ninth day, she was suddenly, and without warning, a butterfly - holding onto her chrysalis with delicate legs. I took her outside and let the sweet summer breeze dry off her paper-thin wings. She let them unfold and touch the air, remaining there for about an hour. She then began to flap them, feeling the strength of her new body, full of possibility. The next thing I knew she flew up, up, up into the trees and was gone.
The symbolism of the chrysalis - or, if you’re a moth, a cocoon - is easily applied to our lives from time to time. The chrysalis is The Fertile Void. The butterfly trusts completely in its process of total, unrecognizable transformation. It essentially dies and is reborn. It hurls itself into the abyss and discovers that it is a feather bed - but instead of feathers, gauzy wings that carry her to faraway lands.
If she did not have trust in the process of her undoing and ultimate becoming, she would forever try to remain a caterpillar. We, too, resist change and the unknown due to fear. But what we sometimes don’t realize is that our resistance to what is naturally calling us is far more a frightening prospect than the change itself. Resistance becomes fear and tension, stagnation and festering. We become rigid, brittle, dried up, resentful.
However, unlike the caterpillar who only takes a couple of weeks to become a brand new being, we undergo metamorphoses a lot more slowly - ultimately requiring a lot more trust. If we were able to see the fruits of our descent into the unknown overnight, we could simply go to sleep and wake up radically changed. But this is not how the human life works. Coming undone and building oneself back up are often months to years (even decades)-long processes that we are bound to. We can think of them as larger contractions and expansions of the flower of the self (see Part 1).
A chrysalis is a contraction - but it is not in any way idle! There is much that happens, and this is pivotal, yet it is all behind the scenes. It occurs via the internal landscape. This landscape we don’t often champion or celebrate because it is not the ‘result’ or the ‘success’ or, again, the ‘fruit’ of this toil - and in this society, the product is prioritized, idealized. This is why the chrysalis can feel so foreign and frightening - not only do we not know how long we will be in it, but it is a contraction away from the self we once knew, and we don’t know if we will be a good enough ‘product’ on the other side!
But can you see how unkind this narrative is?
Do you think, for a moment, that the primordial goo that was once a caterpillar worries that it won’t be a perfect product? I don’t believe that this is how imaginal cells work, not for one minute. The imaginal cells are the fertility of the void of the chrysalis. The cells know that the void is a crucial womb-like space of potential and holds them for their directive. They trust. And they unfold as they are meant to.
This is the same for you, in your chrysalis. Transformation takes as long as it takes and it takes you where you need to go. Let your cells imagine what they may yet become.
part three: the hero's journey
If you’ve ever watched any of the following movies (just some examples!) you’ve watched the archetypal Hero’s Journey unfold:
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Interstellar
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Spiderman
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Moana
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The Hobbit
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The Lord of the Rings
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Avatar
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Shrek
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Interview with the Vampire
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Breaking Bad
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Star Wars
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The Matrix
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The Lion King
The Hero’s (or Heroine’s) Journey is essentially a set of events/rites of passage/spiritual and emotional hurtles/roadblocks/adventures that everyone experiences in life. This is what we mean when we say it is archetypal - it is universally applied. The stages of the journey are outlined as follows. For a deep dive into all of the stages and how they correspond to the tarot, refer to page 90 of The Fertile Void Illuminated Magazine.
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Departure
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the ordinary world
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call to adventure
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refusing the call to adventure
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meeting a mentor
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crossing the threshold
2. Initiation
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tests, allies, enemies
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approach to the inmost cave / heart of darkness
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the ordeal
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the reward
3. Return
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the road back
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resurrection
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return with elixir
The thing about the ‘formulaic’ nature of this journey (and how modern capitalism causes us to adhere rigidly to set notions of success and identity) is that when we veer off in an unexpected direction, we not only feel lost, but we feel that we’ve actually exited our hero’s journey. We feel that something has gone gravely awry, and we clamour to get back on the beaten path. We forget that sometimes getting stuck in the weeds is actually our path forward!
There is also something to parse out with the notion of being a ‘hero’ - we must remember that we are the hero, at all stages of our journey, not just the moment we defeat our (inner or outer) demons.
This is the holistic view: one, that we are always the hero of our own journey no matter what. And two, that we are never ‘off’ of our hero’s journey, we are absolutely always on it - it just may look different from what we imagined. But truly, that is always going to be the case in life. Rarely do things match up exactly to what we’ve envisioned. Our strength lies in adaptability, and trusting that the abyss is a feather bed. Think about all of the times that you headed in an unexpected direction in life, only to find some person, lesson or opportunity awaiting you that you could have never anticipated. This is precisely why the void is fertile. Step off the beaten path and you may find exactly what you were seeking.